So this is not going to be a huge long and interesting blog to read. I have less then an hour before I need to get myself in bed. I have many a time mentioned that writing for me is a way of thinking out loud as it where, to process, to come to understand. Those may clash with mine, those may supplement mine, they may push me further then I have ever before. They can be a tremendous power of inspiration for me.Īfter all they bring their own mix of experiences, of wants to the table. Yes I love to write for people, especially for people I feel strongly towards, to whom I submit. And more then my fair share of blogs have been started with a request of people for me to write about something. So often I have started this blog by saying I picked up a discussion point, or overheard something. So yes, you start to look for inspiration elsewhere. There is only so many introductions into BDSM you can give, there are only so many blogs you can write about punishment, or any given topic that interest me. Why do you I like topics supplied? Because, to have it quite simply put if you blog as long as I have (since February 2012), and blog with great regularity, then yes at some point you are going to run out of topics you can talk about. The topic is supplied, the content is created by me. But as I have always said: It is to me to decide what to write, what direction my thoughts take me. Yes, I like people to give me ideas, put forward subjects. It was put to me “that I only write when being prompted or told”, I think that is kinda a misnomer. I may let others actually inspire me, even put forward topics, but in the end of the day, these are my words and my thoughts that are on paper, digitally or otherwise. Why? Because despite what people may think, my blog is my own. Now the day is drawing close I am even more regretting and perhaps to an extent resenting that I agreed to it. A few people have remarked on this and asked me to write about the why. Being a submissive that has come out of a prolonged relationship, especially a deeper D/s relationship what anxieties and pitfalls can you encounter, both internally and externally when starting to dip your toes back into the murky waters of dating new potential dominant partners.Īs many may have noticed, I am currently on a bit of a self imposed hiatus.
One of them asked me, if I would consider writing a blog, or a personal essay, regarding my experiences the last view months on what I have experienced. Much as I have done so for countless other people in the past holding their hands as they make tentative steps out in to the light again. I know they are doing this only because they care and worry about me. I know there are those among you who have been watching me (hi there!), with a certain, perhaps trepidation and weariness whether the steps I am taking are the right ones. With that being said, I think by and large I am slowly starting to come out of my rut a little bit. It is been a long time since Miss Tungsten left my side, and it took me a very long time to get over this and past that. So, you might thus wonder, what made this break my self imposed silence? Well, as I sort of alluded to, things have been changing a little bit, or a lot, depending on your view. I know, I know my mind has a tendency to cling to things way after they should have come to pass. However, it does and remains my blog, and yes while it was Miss Tungsten that made me write, it also is my thoughts and actions that does it, but the motivation of trying to please her was always there. So both statements are in fact a truth (if nothing else from a certain point of view), if not somewhat in contradictory with each other. On the other hand, I also maintained that this blog was mine and mine alone, and all done by my hand.
But after she sadly disappeared out of my life – it became harder and harder to maintain that, even more so once I removed my collar. The blog really took off as a something that my then dominant, Miss Tungsten wanted. I have always felt very two ways about blogging (well, perhaps three ways even or more. I realised that blogging in the first place was taking up a significant portion of my time at that moment and that something in my life had to give. The truth of the matter is, I did just that. A lot of real life stuff took over and as someone said: Write whenever you feel like it, write because you want to, not because you feel you are made to (hah!). Nearly a year has passed since I decided that I wanted or need a break from blogging. The world has been left, right and centre in many, many different ways and as most people have known, it was rather quiet on my blogging front.
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